Taking a look at Hidier's novel born confused
I recently stayed up till five in the morning reading the novel born confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier. Once I got over my excitement of finishing a great book, I was surprised at the use of covert feminism in the text and decided to share it here as my first post.
I recently stayed up till five in the morning reading the novel born confused by Tanuja Desai Hidier. Once I got over my excitement of finishing a great book, I was surprised at the use of covert feminism in the text and decided to share it here as my first post.
Hidier’s novel is about a South Asian American teenager, Dimple, struggling with the conflict of dualistic identity. At the beginning of the novel, Dimple wants to be able to “fit in” the way her blonde blue eyed friend Gwyn does, often trying to disassociate herself from her heritage as much as possible. She describes this conflict early in the novel:
“So not quite Indian, and not quite American… The only times I retreated to one or the other description were when my peers didn’t understand me (then I figured it was because I was too Indian) or when my family didn’t get it (clearly because I was too American). And in India. Sometimes I was too Indian in America, yes, but in India, I was definitely not Indian enough” (13).
As the novel progresses, not only does Dimple become more open to her South Asian roots, but she begins to realize that many of the stereotypes that she believed about her own community were not true:
- “The Boy” that is too “suitable” (her parents love him so Dimple believes he is essentially “too Indian”) turns out to be interesting, open minded, and supportive of her photography (115).
- The cousin Dimple believes is the good “typical” Indian girl, Kavita, is actually an activist and lesbian.
- Dimple’s parents, who she believes are too old-fashioned because of their culture, are in fact supportive and accepting of Dimple’s decisions. They are also very accepting of Kavita’s sexual orientation even though Dimple believed they wouldn’t be.
- The “only” other Indian in the “whole school” Trilok, who Dimple avoided because he “wore his ethnicity so brazenly,” later becomes a close friend when she joins the local NYU ABCD (American Born Confused Desi) community (3).
- Gwyn does not have the perfect life Dimple imagines, but has in fact faced many difficulties in her young life.
- Lastly, Dimple’s views of her own community shift dramatically when she meets the popular Zara, a South Asian transvestite that dresses in traditional Bollywood clothing.
The novel addresses a variety of topics, but I was particularly interested in the relationship between Kavita and her girlfriend Sabrina in relation to underground feminism. Sabrina is an “overt” feminist activist while Kavita is not. Sabrina regularly talks about feminist politics and has chosen to stop shaving for political reasons (this is mentioned multiple times in the novel). She is one of the loved characters early on because she encourages Dimple’s photography and helps Gwyn get out of her post breakup funk. However, later in the novel, Sabrina breaks up with Kavita who “was a little too Indian” and “wasn’t gay enough” for her (381). This then leads to a complex discussion of identity between Dimple and Kavita. Dimple is shocked because she believed that the two had a wonderful relationship. Kavita then explains that the catalyst was her choice not to publicly show her sexuality and political views:
“—Because I did not wear my sexuality for all to see, because I was taking too long to walk with her openly, because because. But I tried to explain to her that everyone comes to terms with things in their own time, isn’t it, and that perhaps I had a different set of things to come to terms with. And that I was not comfortable wearing anything like a banner. That maybe I wasn’t ready to proclaim that I am a woman who loves women” (381).
Sabrina attempts to pressure Kavita to wear the identity flag that she wears proudly instead of continuing to hide her sexuality from her family and community. However, the author brings up an excellent point with Kavita’s response. We all have different levels of comfort and as a community of activists we cannot simply expect people to easily shed all of the social influences and gender pressures experienced since birth the same way we discard a winter coat in the summer. Instead of perpetuating social aggression between communities of women, we should understand the difficulties, risks, and complexity of managing various facets of identity. If Kavita loves and understands Sabrina’s decision to be publicly open about her sexuality and politics, so can activists like Sabrina be understanding of the various ways of being a woman and feminist. Just as Kavita tells Dimple that she cannot contain herself to the “tidy little box” of Indian or American, neither can we as activists confine women to a strict archetype of the perfect feminist.
Zara as a character also provides a wonderful discussion of gender bending in the novel. Zara also ultimately shows Dimple that nothing in life is black and white. It is not about being Indian versus American or gay versus straight (or as discussed in this blog: “overt” feminist versus “underground” feminist), but about working within and accepting the beautiful complexities of life: “Believe it or not, Dimple--and I would believe it--I am just a regular person who has decided to be who I am in life. That's all. That's how you make your life magical--you take yourself into your own hands and rub a little. You activate your identity. And that's the only way to make, as they say, the world a better place; after all, what good are you to anyone without yourself” (442)? Instead of pressuring others to fit our brand of activist, why not consider the possibilities of being open to the multiple and various wonderful ways of working in a community.
If you haven’t read it already, excellent book and I hope you’ll read it!
